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POTC At World’s End – It’s all about the franchise

June 26th 2007 06:52
Now, I like the POTC movies. The first is one of my favourite movies. It’s a fun swashbuckling romp with slick writing and good piratey sensibilities with a bit of fantasy chucked in.

The second was a little disappointing. It wasn’t bad at all, really, but it did fall short of the first movie. The jokes were old and rehashed from its predecessor, the fantasy was stretched and a bit silly, and the characters lost a lot of what made each of them individuals in number one.

And, now, we come to number three.

Firstly, I’ll say it was better than the second. It took itself more seriously, for one thing – not that that makes it better on its own, because lots of jokey movies are awesome, but Pirates 2 didn’t take itself quite seriously enough for me to grab on to much, so the seriousness made the third more solid, more grabbable.


The third was also massively convoluted, mostly cos there was so much brought up in the second movie that needed to be resolved, plus the new stuff the third brought up on its own, which needed to be resolved as well. But, all in all, I think it handled its own convolusiveness quite well. Much better than Spidey 3.

But there were a few things that felt like they didn’t really fit. Like the Jack-going-mental thing. What the hell was with that? I mean, I was open to it – he’s in his personal hell/ Davey Jones’ locker etc so he’s bound to have a hard time, but it just kept pushing the weird factor, and I think the writers did it just to freak Jack out so we could laugh.

Then there was the thing at the end where Will Turner becomes Davey Jones because Jack ‘saved’ him from death. Then he couldn’t be with his love or his son and he lived a fricking half-life for the rest of his days. And Jack gets to frickin keep sailin around doing nothing with his life causing trouble.


So I ask you this: why in the freaking crap couldn’t Jack’ve been a bit quicker with stabbing the heart (ie BEFORE Tentacle-boy could stab Will) so that HE become Davey Jones. That way HE would get to sail around forever – LIKE HE FREAKIN WANTED – and ‘do the right thing for once’, LIKE WE FREAKIN WANTED, all whilst allowing Will and Elizabeth to be together and happy, LIKE EVERYONE FREAKIN WANTED

I think the tortured ‘I will sail forever and I’m a bit doomed’ shtick would’ve fit Jack sooo much better - especially since he caused pretty much all of this crap to happen in the first place. It makes him accept responsibility and ultimately learn something about being a good guy – like Will and Liz both said he was but which he never really proved past the first movie – and it allows the lovers to be happy, like they deserved.

Cos the way it turned out, I was annoyed at Jack, cos he had stuff to atone for, but didn’t change or learn anything so he’s really nothing more than a child and his idea of ‘a ship is freedom’ becomes limp and empty; plus I was annoyed that Will and Liz, who had nothing to atone for, had to serve a punishment and didn’t really get anything good out of it.

Even Bootstrap Bill would’ve been a better choice for Davey Jones. Like, it would’ve been a nice gesture to his son who had been trying to save him all that time, but now they both have to be doomed, which is stupid. Plus Bootstrap killed Norrington, so I don’t like him very much (not that I was surprised that Norrington died, that was kinda his way to go).

Mmm, and another thing that annoyed was the fact that all of the characters, obviously for various reasons etc, were compromised moralistically and made to be slightly bad – which some might say is the point because they’re pirates etc. But I really think having them all have their morals compromised spits in the face of the idea of the original movie; as in, the whole ‘you can be a pirate and still be a good man, piracy is sometimes the right course’ thing. And that was a nice theme too. So, yeah. Annoyed at that.

And the pirates having a guild sucked as well. Pirates would never be that organized. That’s kind of the point that the whole series set up – all pirates aren’t evil they’re just irresponsible, like Jack. So, yeah, the writers spat in the face of that too. Having them have all those rules and a code and frickin Keith Richards comin in for no reason.

Then the slightly distasteful ‘How’s mum?” then she’s a head in a jar. How crass.

All-in-all it seems like the main thing the writers were trying to do here was make Jack a viable product. Most of the scenes he was in were about making us like him, despite any badness he did or how much punishment he deserved, then he goes free at the end and they do a set-up so they could make ANOTHER movie if they wanted.

It’s all about the franchise.

And that sucks.

What I did like, franchise-wise, was Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. It’ll be funny when they get to Fantastic Four Four.

But I’ll talk about that next time.


Adios, buckaroos.
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